My love,
After everything, still, you are one of my best friends. You may not speak of me with the same smile but if we can still understand each others silences then I could not deny that we, have made it.
We don’t talk all the time and when we do sometimes it’s about nothing at all. But among the small talk you will have these moments where it feels like your lights turn on and someone upstairs wakes up. Like you drop the walls you’ve built up and there’s a whole other person in there. This person who isn’t afraid to care and cries when it hurts.
I want you to say hello to this person because this is the man I have spent the best part of the last five years defending, telling people who didn’t believe in you that this man was in there because I had seen him. Of course no one believed me and I looked like I was the crazy one for defending and loving such a brute that had no feeling.
I want you to know that you have the most beautiful lights when you decide to wake up and turn them on.
It makes me so proud to see you doing all these amazing things with your life but it hits a little closer to home when you say “hey, thanks for being there. I know you’re there.” It reminds me that you are the man I knew you could be when everyone else was telling me I was crazy. It lets me know you recognize that I am here, still trying.
So I hope you find someone who turns not only you on but your lights as well. I hope one day I can look at everyone and say “I told you he’d make it.”
But if you feel like you get lost on the way, or if you’re drowning in something a little heavier than usual, I’ll always be here even if it just to sit in your silence and remind you that we are making it.
You’ll get there,
& I’ll be here.
Sweet Someone